Getting a Driver’s License

 NO TRIGGER WARNINGS


   I remember hearing on a youtube video that young people aren’t getting driver's licenses anymore, followed by criticism of today's youth by an old guy. Then I noticed some facts that someone must point out, so here we go.

   Conservatives like this older man tend to cluster in the country. The country states have smaller towns and less traffic. They also have back roads. Growing up in California, learning to drive terrified me. There was nowhere to safely practice except the Saddleback Church parking lot, which banned student drivers from using it. The idea of going from clueless about driving to traffic-congested, fast-paced, road-raged streets is a nightmare. Now in Wyoming, I’ve almost got my license because no other cars mean no fear of fucking up or hurting someone, mostly.

   Where does this connect to my Blog point? Well, the second reason for the lack of new drivers is parents. Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed the middle-aged group is the angriest and most volatile in the United States every generation? Anger issues are one thing, but some highly critical parents panic at the mere thought of their child behind the wheel. Either of these parents would easily cause panic in the new drivers resulting in poor driving, low confidence, and a desperate desire to call it quits. 

   When my abusive father got me behind the wheel here in Wyoming, for once, he was calm and encouraging, ironically. But most of the time in California and Wyoming, up until the separation, he couldn’t be bothered to teach me. My adoptive mom, however, tried back in California and freaked out. I had a panic attack after the drama was all over, as weird as that sounds. My mom used my panic attack as an excuse to keep me off the road, but she knew she couldn’t teach me without being overly critical and panicking, causing breakdowns and drama. She tried to keep me off the road as long as possible. I’m 27, and my mom is finally teaching me. And yes, it is, in fact, constant criticism the whole way. She’s trying to quit, but the fear and anxiety have been tied into me already. When I’m confident, I drive well. When I’m nervous, I drive not so well.

   The third reason is having an anxiety disorder. Which many young people do. Including me. If you’re afraid of the checkout counter, you’re sure as hell scared to drive. All these things create a reluctance to learn the scary skill of driving a giant death machine. The impact these things have on the environment encourages this reluctance. Why drive if you love the planet? Unless you can afford an electric car, that is.

   But once I got behind the wheel and drove, I felt so free. And I look forward to going wherever I want during the day or night. It’s empowering and life-enriching. I can even attend the DBT group therapy sessions at the hospital! I can take my dog to the park! And maybe without my mom beside me, I can get a date, haha.

-Anemone



Location: Wyoming, USA

Comments

Post a Comment

Remember, if one can not both share and listen, then commenting is not beneficial to anyone.

Popular posts from this blog

My 2nd Hospitalization

Image
TRIGGER WARNING: This post discusses a suicide attempt in detail, alcohol abuse, involuntary stay in a psyche ward, and significant emotional abuse.     I haven’t posted in a while. I ended up in the psyche ward on an emergency hold a month ago. Let’s see if I can find it in me to tell all.    So, first, my mom, while discussing the day my dad tried to shoot us, said it didn’t happen to me, so I shouldn’t be upset. He pointed that gun at both of us, and I was there. I have every right to be upset. I asked her to go away. She was very dramatic as she did so. I tried calling her to work it out, but we fought more. Eventually, she returned and did an “I’m running away” thing but returned in half an hour.     I felt searing anguish and pain in my heart, so I decided to get wasted, which made me cold, callus, and very amused by the ridiculousness of my life. My mom described my amusement as evil. After that, I took a bottle of pills, drank more, then told m...
Read more

Child Abuse Is

Image
TRIGGER WARNING: This entry briefly mentions drugs, alcohol, and broken homes.     Child abuse is far more complex than such and such happened to me. Child abuse destroys families. Secrets get kept, lies get told, and children suffer.      Child abuse can happen in happy homes. But it often happens in broken homes. Mom’s in prison, dad’s a deadbeat, and drug and alcohol abuse are normalized. Grandma and Grandpa sit back, doing nothing to help. Little girls stop trusting.     Walking away means losing it all. Mother’s Day is morbid. Father’s Day is pointless. Your siblings have vanished. You are utterly alone. You feel defective, worthless, and unlovable. You have no one to cry to or save you from self-destruction.     You can repair yourself, but you can’t repair your family. No amount of therapy in the world will fix a broken home. You try to forget. You try to feel joy as well as you can. That’s all you can do. You hope things wil...
Read more

“Don’t Talk About It”

Image
  TRIGGER WARNING: This entry mentions suicide.    There is nothing more important to me than being a big sister. To love them is heaven, and to lose them is hell. I’ve always dreamed of being close to them and being accepted and returning the favor. To protect them and guide them.    But today, another of my siblings turned 18. And again, I wish I could explain to them why I’m not there, why my relationship with my bio dad is so strained and always has been. To tell them I love them more than they could ever know. And that this distance is torture.    I’m an only child of 11. 2 sisters on my bio mom's side, and one of them I lost when my bio mom disowned me. The other I lost when my bio mom told her lies about me so I’d be hurt when I got rejected again. My bio dad is another story-nine siblings raised in a conservative Christian cult. Growing up, I kept everything secret from them because my whole life story was all taboo to theirs. How could I possi...
Read more